The Weight of the Issue

CHALLENGE  ACCOMPLISHMENT # 1
THE RESOLUTION: Random Kindnesses

Without sounding selfish, materialistic or insecure, I can tell you that I have a very hard time parting with my 'things'. Call me a pack rat or a hoarder but understand that every action has a cause. For me, this could easily be a result of the hardest era of my lifetime. A time when I had next to nothing. Not even control over my own life. I could write you an entire book about my life and those who know my story certainly beg me for that scripture. Maybe someday, but not today.

As I began rebuilding my life and gaining power over my future, I attached a lot emotional energy to the objects I began to collect, (mostly through friendly donations). It was not just the first few necessary things; a mattress, clothing... even my text books became a symbol of my success. These things also represent something I can control in my life. They are important. The thought of losing them creates the same anxiety that the thought of losing control would. I've had to work unbelievably hard to get past that. Undoubtedly the most important and impacting self-therapy I have ever thrown myself into was an unbelievable journey around the world, just me and a backpack.

There is no better comparison to the common phrase, 'the weight of the world on your shoulders'. That backpack and everything in it became not only the literal weight on my shoulders, from all the things I believed I could not live without, but it also represented a mental and emotional weigh-down. There was the problem of always having to worry about the safety of my things. Whether at a popular beach or a rusty old bus in the middle of nowhere my mind was always partially occupied with their whereabouts. Secondly, they also presented an issue to my safety. Would someone hurt me in an attempt to take these things from me?



So month after month I eased my burden as each thing became less important than my own happiness and survival. Eventually I reached a point where I could not even think of what it was at home filling my cabinets and shelves that could possibly mean so much to me.

It felt like freedom.

Upon my return I began to lighten the load at home. Some things were harder to justify letting go of than others. For some reason I did not envision how this purging could also benefit others, in the same way that others helped me when I was getting back on my feet. It took some direct encouragement at the beginning but the piles grew: donations, trash, for sale. But there was one particular item that finally let me let go.

Well, it was not the item per say. My old laptop started collecting dust since my new birthday laptop arrived so I, begrudgingly if I am to be 1000% honest, gifted it to someone who had never had one before. I tried to push down the knot in my throat for days until I received an email from my gifts recipient while I was 1,000 miles away visiting my family for Christmass.

"Karina

I am speechless... 

...I can't believe you did this for me. I can't tell you how much this will help me out.... I really appreciate this gift from you. I will never forget that you did this....

Love..."


Just like that, all the anxiety I held inside vanished. My weight lifted someone else up. My kindness actually changed someones life. It is sometimes easy for us to forget that the Internet is more than kittens and Facebook. My old laptop provided someone a connection to the world. It created employment opportunities. It eased hardship for an entire family.

One woman. One year. 21 down. 148 to go.